Anxiety sucks.

Hello everyone!

This post was not planned. Just like anxiety attacks. Not planned. 

I went to the swimming pool this evening, with great intentions of going for a nice, enjoyable swim. Granted, I was a bit nervous going in because I hadn't been swimming in years so I wasn't too sure if I would remember (you can say it's like riding a bike, but if you know me, well, you know that rule doesn't apply to me.. but that's a story for another day...). But, I got into the pool and swam a length. And another. And then another. Maybe I was pushing myself too hard, or the nerves were getting to me, but when I was half way through my fourth length, I was finding it very difficult to breathe. This caused me to start coughing, a lot. Not a fun situation when you're in the water. 

I felt like everyone there was watching me, even though they probably weren't. And that's when the anxiety kicked in. I swam to the end, coughing all the way, and hopped out of the pool. I walked back to my locker and took out my bottle of water (thank God I brought one!). Standing at the locker, drinking my water, I tried my best of calm down. I went back to the pool area and went into the steam room, hoping to relax a bit more. It helped, until I got back into the pool. I tried to swim another length and, again, half way through, I couldn't breathe and I started coughing. So, I just got out and hopped into the shower. I was done.

I know some of you are thinking "maybe you're just unfit" or something along those lines. And I am. But the anxiety did not make my situation any better. 

Anxiety sucks. It really does. And it doesn't disappear over night. I'm lucky in the fact that I don't get attacks as often as I used to. My last one was the night of my 21st (which was pretty shit considering the night it was, but I was lucky to have my friends there who made sure I got home ok). You can try to be prepared for them, but as I said at the beginning, attacks are not planned, they just happen. Like an unwanted guest in your house. 

I don't really know why I'm telling you all of this. I guess it's just to get it out there - anxiety can happen to any of us at any time or place, and there's nothing you can really do about it except accept it. I've accepted that I have anxiety and that there's nothing much I can do. I can help myself when I get an attack, but I can't stop them from coming. 

I guess that's just how a lot of things in life work. You just take it one step at a time.

Until next time. 

Fifs xo

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This college year....

Hello everyone!

Well, I did it. 

After a long, stressful, scary year, I finally passed my second year of college with Second Class Honours! To say I was relieved when I saw my results would be an understatement... 

For those of you who don't know (although, most probably do), I failed my Irish grammar module in my second year (the first attempt..) which meant that I had to repeat that one module. It was an absolute pain to do - travelling up to Dublin, going to a one hour lecture and then coming back down to Galway all in the one day - but I did what I had to do to get one step closer to the childhood dream of becoming a teacher. 

The lectures went on and we were all preparing ourselves for the three hour grammar exam in May, only to find out mid-March that we would no longer have a written exam. Or an oral exam for that matter. Everything would be based on our continuous assessment, which I admit I wasn't doing too well with. I spent more time at the tasks and each week my grades went up, so I was obviously doing something right!

You're probably wondering why I was scared to get my results if it was based on continuous assessment that I already knew the results of. I think I was scared that something was going to go wrong with the system, or my teacher would get the results mixed up with someone else's. I didn't know what to expect when I opened my results, but I was not expecting a massive weight to be lifted off my shoulders! I didn't even realise how stressed I was about my results until I saw them. It was the best feeling to start off a great day.

I don't regret the year. Even though I missed out on some college experiences, such as going out with my friends, doing the college musical, just generally having the craic with my classmates between lectures, I had a great year. I became more confident in myself, as I have said a million times before, and I made new friends who I will be graduating with in 2 years time (fingers crossed!). I discovered just how much I love being in Dublin. I was in the city centre a lot more than usual, and I will definitely try to go on little adventures next year. 

To say it was a tough year would be a lie. Yeah, there were some tough times, especially when it got to the beginning of second semester and I realised I wouldn't be joining my old classmates after their placement, but all in all, I realised that everything happens for a reason. If I never had to repeat, I wouldn't have done a lot of things that I did do this year. Some were stupid, yes, but again, I don't regret anything I have done since last September. They made me who I am now, and that's the best version of me that I have been in a long long time!

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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Beach Days and another thing ticked off the list!

Hello everyone!

With the gloomy, cold, wet weather back to haunt us in Ireland after two weeks of weather fit to rival Spain, I thought I would dedicate this post to the best trip to the beach I have had in years!

Last Wednesday, the hottest day of the year (so far hopefully!), myself and my two friends decided to go to the beach in Salthill. So of course, the first thing I had to do was pack a beach bag. Now, I have come to discover that I enjoy being a stereo-typical blogger, because I always was one even when I wasn't a blogger! So bear with me as I do a 'what's in my beach bag'.....

• Bikini (or any other swimwear)
• Shorts
• Kimono (or something to cover up if you're going for a walk)
• Beach towel and regular towel 
• Sun hat
• Sunglasses
• Suncream (especially if you're a pasty Irish girl who burns easily...)
• Bottle of water (I brought 3 with me!!)
• Salt spray (to keep those mermaid waves rocking all day if you don't want to get your hair wet)
• Portable charger (fully charged!)
• Makeup wipes 
• Phone (with cute beach approved case - I got mine in Penneys and of course it's mermaid themed!)

It was honestly one of the nicest days I have had so far this summer. We literally spent the whole day at the beach, which probably wasn't the smartest idea, but it was so nice and relaxing, we didn't care about a bit of sunburn. It was so packed with people, you wouldn't have even thought it was Ireland we were in! 

For those of you interested, I got my bikini bottoms from New Look, the top from Penneys, hat from Penneys and sunglasses from River Island. I also bought a kimono and shorts from Penneys.

My favourite memory from this day, however, will always be the time I jumped off Black Rock! This was on my bucket list for the year and I am so happy that I finally have it ticked off! Even though I didn't jump off the top, it was still the scariest, most thrilling thing I have done. So, special shout out to my friends Conor and Siobhán for making me do it ;) 

If only the good weather would return so we can keep having fun days out like this for the summer!

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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A Year of Blogging.

Hello everyone!

As of yesterday, my blog is officially one year old! How crazy is that? Since then, I have written 50 blog posts, received 8,500 views and started my own YouTube channel! 

I have also learned so much from starting up this blog. I have learned a lot about the blogging community and how it works, a lot about some of my readers, and in the end, I have learned a lot about myself! I have actually learned to accept myself for who I am and that it's not right to change something about yourself just because someone doesn't like the 'real you.' I haven't acted fake for anyone - I have just been myself and, you know what, people seem to prefer that version of me rather than the pretend one.

Sharing my feelings and thoughts here has helped me to express myself a lot more to my friends and family. I am a whole lot more confident and not as shy as I once was. I have made a whole new circle of friends, as well as the friends that I have always had. I have never been happier than I am right now, sharing my thoughts and experiences with anxiety/stress/just regular life. 

I would like to take this opportunity as well to thank everyone who has been reading, whether it's from day 1 or from now. Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement and comments. It's you that makes me want to keep sharing! 

So cheers to another year of Just Fifs! 

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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April.

Hello everyone!

I'm back (not that you noticed I was gone or anything...)!

This last month has been absolutely crazy! Between doing up my bedroom, planning my 21st, finishing my last college assignments of the year and much more, I found it so difficult to find the time to write a blog post! But, it is now a new month and it is officially summer, so that means plenty of blog posts to come! I have plenty of ideas written down in a notebook for what I want to talk about in the next few posts, but let's get on with the month of April....

As I said, April was a crazy month! It started off with me clearing all the furniture out of my room before we started painting it. Next thing on the list for doing up my room was deciding on a colour scheme. I wanted to stay away from pinks and purples (even though, they are two of my favourite colours, and anyone who knows me knows how much I love pink!) because I had had those colours in my bedroom since I was 5! I eventually decided on cream walls and a multi coloured, kind of pastel, bed cover. The rest of my room was mainly white and copper. My furniture arrived the last week of April and my room was finally put together! I absolutely love it!! I have included a room tour in a vlog for my YouTube channel, so stay tuned for that if you're interested ;)

I was involved with the college Drama Soc's production of Grease this month. Although I wasn't on stage, I helped out backstage with the set. Being a part of the stage crew is actually something I enjoy; I wouldn't say I prefer it over being on stage, but it's not the worst thing in the world! Especially when you get to wear a Pink Ladies' jacket!!

I was so proud of everyone in the society that was invovled in this production one way or another. Especially my besto Brando, who did an absolutely amazing job producing the musical and chairing the society all the way to being 'Best Society' for the second year in a row! Guess I taught you well hun ;)

The biggest thing that happened to me this month has to be my 21st birthday party! My parents and I had been planning this party since January, and we couldn't believe that the time was actually here to have it. I won't go into too much detail about the night, except for the fact that it was honestly one of the best nights of my life (so far) and I will honestly never forget it! If you were there for it, thank you so much for making it one of the best memories I will ever keep <3

And that is where I am at in my life at the moment! I am finished college for the year and I will (hopefully) be progressing into third year in September. I am in a good place right now, happy with life, happy with myself, and just living each day as it comes. I still have my bad days, but the good ones seem to outweighing those these days!

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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February.

Hello everyone!

I know it's now mid-March, but to be honest, I wasn't feeling up to writing a blog post at the end of February. I started to write my February update, but it didn't sound right - it didn't sound like me. I was writing for the sake of writing, and I didn't want to post something that I wasn't happy with.

But, now I am feeling much more 'creative' (if that's the word you would use..) and I'm ready to start writing blog posts and editing YouTube videos again!

I can't believe that another month of 2016 is gone already. I swear, this year is just going to pass by in one big blur if we're not careful! I eventually went back to college after the longest Christmas break ever! I met up with my old classmates and housemates, which was lovely. I didn't realise how much I missed them until I saw them. #GroupJandHouse236forever

I was only in college for 2 Tuesdays before I was off again. The second years started their Placement, and because I didn't have to repeat those dreaded three weeks, I was free to do my own thing for 5 weeks (I am currently on my last week of freedom....). I went to Sligo for rag week to my friends, and it was a brilliant week! I felt like a proper student again, which I haven't felt in almost a year! Living at home is tough at times when you're used to the freedom of living by yourself, but it has it's perks (mainly being having the dinner cooked for you!!).

I didn't do anything with my bucket list this month. It wasn't a great month for me, with feeling a bit down and all that. But, I pushed through and kept living life to the fullest. I guess you could say that I did 'travel' a bit because I went to Sligo, but I'm not counting it as travelling really.

But, a new month is here (15 days into it!!), and so far so good! However, I will leave that until the end of the month....

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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Pancake Tuesday!

Hello everyone!

Today was a good day. It was my last Tuesday in Dublin for 5 weeks. I had a great catch up with one of my best friends in college. And it was also Pancake Day! 

Pancakes aren't really a special treat in our house; we make them a lot for breakfast when my little cousins stay over - a tradition that started when I used to have friends over for sleepovers in primary school, so Pancake Tuesday is never really a big deal in our family. However, this doesn't stop us from making pancakes on this glorious day!

Unfortunately, mam had the batter made before I came home from Dublin. But the batter we make is never the same because we don't actually follow a recipe. We just chuck in a bit of flour, add some milk, crack in two eggs, add some sugar and vanilla, a pinch of salt, and whiz it all up together in the blender. Too thick? Add more milk. Too thin? Add more flour. It's all trial and error really. 

Today, mam made them just that little bit thicker than usual, which allowed me to make some small 'American style' pancakes. I cooked the usual size ones for mam and dad, but for myself, I wanted something different. I stuck with my usual topping of melted chocolate and cream, and these pancakes were delicious!! 

I'm odd when it comes to my pancakes - some days I like them as thin as crepes; other days I like the fluffy American ones. No matter what way I like them, I always love them!

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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Top 5 'Beauty Gurus' I watch on YouTube

Hello everyone!

As you probably know, I watch a lot of YouTube, particularly a lot of YouTubers. The videos I watch range from daily vlogs, challenge videos, collabs, recipe videos... But mainly, I love watching beauty and make-up videos!

I have compiled a list of my favourite 'beauty gurus', or 'beauty vloggers,' whatever you want to call them. This is not in order of preference by the way. I have learned so much from each of these beautiful and talented ladies, from make-up tips to how to be confident with my own skin. I will leave all of their links so you can check them all out!

1. NikkieTutorials (https://www.youtube.com/user/NikkieTutorials): First up, we have the beautiful Nikkie from NikkieTutorials. This woman is just amazing! Her make-up tutorials are always on point, just like her eyebrows. Seriously, I am extremely jealous of her perfect eyebrows... Because of her, I have discovered that men's aftershave balm is an amazing primer! Who would have thought? I admit, I have been using some of my dad's just to try it out, and I'll probably buy a bottle of my own just for this purpose. She also taught me to 'embrace the glow' (or highlighter). I whack that stuff on like there's no tomorrow anymore because of her!

2. SprinkleofGlitter (https://www.youtube.com/user/Sprinkleofglitter): Louise Pentland loves us Sprinklerinos. And she always looks flawless doing it! Whether it's with blonde hair, pink hair, make-up or no make-up, this fabulous woman is just that - fabulous. From her 'Get Ready with me' videos, to her beauty hauls, to an everyday make-up tutorial, Louise shows it how it is. Aside from being a beauty vlogger, Louise has a lifestyle book called 'Life with a Sprinkle of Glitter,' a 2016 diary (which I am proud to own!!) and her very own clothing range for plus-sized women on SimplyBe. She is an amazing role-model for women of all shapes and sizes, and I am proud to be a member of the Sprinklerino community!

3. Gabriella Lindley (https://www.youtube.com/user/velvetgh0st): I first discovered Gabby when I saw her doing a beauty haul with Zoella. That was over a year ago and I still watch her everyday! With simple tutorials to create the perfect every day look, Gabby shows just how easy it can be to get a professional finish, using mostly drugstore products! My favourite make-up videos of hers are her 'Pretty Little Liars' inspired looks and her first impression videos. She is completely honest and if she doesn't like a product, she won't be afraid to say it!

4. Kandee Johnson (https://www.youtube.com/user/kandeejohnson): If you enjoy creating costume looks, then Kandee Johnson's channel is the one for you! Her 'Barbie transformation' video came up in my suggestions one day, and since then, I have been subscribed. Honestly, if you look at the thumbnail of her 'Barbie transformation' video, you wouldn't even know which one was Kandee and which one is Barbie! Her everyday Disney Princess inspired looks are goals! I was always too afraid to try them, but now that I'm a bit more confident with make-up, I will definitely be trying them out!

5. Zoella (https://www.youtube.com/user/zoella280390): And last, but certainly not least, we have Zoella. Although Zoe says that she is not a beauty guru as such, she is definitely a beauty vlogger! With a beauty range to back her up, Zoe is a natural when it comes to make-up and hair tutorials. If it wasn't for Zoella, I would never have discovered my love for Rimmel Kate Moss lipsticks, particularly 107! 

So there you have it! My favourite beauty vloggers on YouTube.

Until next time.

Fifs xo

All opinions are my own. All photos were found on google images. 

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Valentine's Day or just a Sunday?

Hello everyone!

Valentine's Day. You either love it or hate it. And me? Well, I hate it. I always have and I think that I always will. Some people might say "you only hate it because you don't have a boyfriend" or "is it because you're jealous of couples?". No. I have always hated it for some unknown reason. Even when I was in a relationship for Valentine's Day last year, I asked my boyfriend if we could not celebrate it. I went as far as refusing to even say the words 'Happy Valentine's Day' to him. We just spent the night watching movies like we did every night we spent together. It was just a regular night.

I'm not too sure when my hatred for this day started. When I was younger, Mam and Dad used to send me Valentine's cards from a 'secret admirer' and sometimes they'd throw a cute teddy bear into the mix. So it's not as if I grew up not celebrating it - I did. As I got older, I just didn't see the point in celebrating a day for a baby with wings (or a tiny man in a nappy with wings - whatever you want to look at it...). 

I remember having a single girl's Valentine's sleepover with my friends when we were in Leaving Cert. We ate lots of chocolate, drank some sparkling wine, gossiped and cried watching 'The Notebook' (some of us more than others.....). It was a great night, but it's also something we could have done any other night of the year. Having it on Valentine's night didn't make it any more special... we just got to eat lots of Love Heart sweets and chocolate and strawberries without feeling too guilty about it because we were all lonely singles.. lol.

My point is, I just don't think that there should be a day where people celebrate love and their relationships by buying expensive presents, going for a fancy dinner and writing a soppy message on a card. Love should be celebrated every day in a relationship! If you love someone, tell them, show them, shout it from the rooftops every day of your damn life! Don't wait for one day where everyone is expected to tell that special someone 'I love you,' especially if you're not ready for that yet...

Rant over. 

I will be spending February 14th like any other Sunday - working. And if I'm not working, thank God! It means I won't have to watch couples all day.......

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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Why do we make resolutions?

Hello everyone!

Happy New Year to you all! I can't believe it's 2016 already! That year just flew. 

One thing I notice about every new year, is people saying the same thing: 'New Year, New Me!' And do those people change as the year goes on? Possibly. But for the majority, no they don't. They make this statement and continue to act like they did the year before. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, I just don't understand why people would make this promise to themselves and not keep it.

The tradition for making New Year's Resolutions started sometime when the Romans were still hanging around. And we still continue to make resolutions to this day. Every year, I make the same ones: Eat healthy, exercise more and just be a generally better person. However, every year I fail. So I make the same ones over and over again. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this.

What I don't understand is, why do we make such goals and not follow through with them? I, for one, make the plans of eating healthier and exercising more while sitting on the couch in my pyjamas eating a box of Celebrations. AND I AM CURRENTLY DOING THAT AS I TYPE THIS! I might go a week or two eating healthy, but then I go back to the chocolates and the biscuits and the carbs. Do I exercise? Nope. Not one bit. I never keep my resolutions, and I don't think I ever will. I have yet to meet someone who has kept all of their resolutions through out the year. In fact, I have yet to meet someone who has remembered their resolutions by the end of the year!

This year, I have decided that I am not going to make any resolutions. Instead, I'm making a bucket list of things I want to do this year. I have a busy year ahead, with my 21st and my cousin's wedding in the summer. There is so much that I want to do to make this the best year ever after the year I've had! 

I hope you all had an amazing New Year's Eve and Day, and whether you're making resolutions or not, I hope you have a brilliant 2016!

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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BLOGMAS Day 24: A.K.A the Last One... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Hello everyone!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I can't believe we're here! 24 days and 16 blogposts later, BLOGMAS is finished! What started off as a little project for myself has turned into something so much more. I am actually very proud of myself for what I have achieved these last 3 weeks. I wrote a blogpost at least 5 days a week, but not only that, I have started to receive feedback from people! Thank you so much for everyone who has commented or messaged me with all your positivity and words of encouragement. You're the real stars here! 

Christmas is finally here! The big man is on his way as I write this, and I probably should get to sleep. But before I do that, I thought I would write one last post for BLOGMAS in true Fifs style...

I had an amazing Christmas Eve! I spent the morning baking cakes and cupcakes, helped my mam tidy the house and get dinner ready. And that dinner was something else! You know how Christmas Eve is more important than Christmas Day in France? Well, I have a French uncle who is married to my mam's sister. They both came in for Christmas Eve dinner and we had it French style: plenty of food, breaks in between courses, laughter, chat and plenty of wine! We even popped open a bottle of champagne at midnight to celebrate the birth of Christ. After opening up a present each, it was time for bed. 

Except I am still awake writing this!

I better go now though.. I think I can hear those sleigh bells jingling on the roof.....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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BLOGMAS Day 22: Update and 3 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!

Hello everyone!

I know, I know... I haven't been great at the old BLOGMAS the last few days... and by the last few days I mean 4... plus the others I missed in between..

To be fair, this was a challenge I set myself to see if I could actually do it. And surprisingly, I've done better than I thought I would! Pat on the back!

The reason I haven't been around the last few days is because I have been super busy! It was my best friend's 21st Saturday night, so all day Saturday I was very busy getting ready, sorting out her presents and helping my mam tidy the house a bit. Sunday, I spent the day in front of the television watching movies, eating fatty food and drinking lots and lots of tea! And yesterday, I was working!

However, I'm back on track for the last 3 days! And that's a promise!!

On a brighter note, THREE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!! And it's finally starting to feel like Christmas! I've just finished wrapping presents with my dad, I've planned some visits to family, I've met up with friends for a sneaky hot chocolate, I've watched Christmas movies, I've done some Christmas baking, and I'm currently writing this while wearing a Santa hat! 🎅

We're having a fancy dinner in our house Christmas Eve with my aunt and uncle, so it's been all go with cleaning the house these days. I have my day planned out for Christmas Eve with baking. I've also organised to go visit my goddaughter Christmas Eve to give her her present. Things are looking up for me this Christmas after all!

I promise to have a post up tomorrow! 

Until next time.

Fifs xo

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