Hello everyone.
"Am I the only one wishing life away? Never caught up in the moment busy begging the past to stay."
When I first listened to Dodie Clark's song 'When' (which I suggest everyone to listen to!) and heard this line, I was hooked. I found a song that I could relate to.
I'm always wishing that I could be older, out of college, working as a teacher and living my life. I'm basically wishing my life away, but at the same time, I would go back to certain parts of my past in a heart beat. It's confusing, but I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like this.
Life is confusing. It's just something that we have to go through, we don't get a choice in the matter. We do, hoewever, get the choice of how we want to live it. Everyone goes about living their life their own way, and that's what makes us all individual. Some people are still living in the past, others refuse to look to the future, while some can't wait to see what life has in store for them.
I'm only 21, and I feel older than I am but yet I still feel way too young to be in the position I am in in my life at the moment. I'm not ready to be a qualified teacher in two years, but yet I can't wait to leave college and start living that dream. I get fed up of nights out at the weekend, but yet I'm the first one to organise a mad session. I feel way more mature than others my age, and yet I'm still an immature child at times.
I've always wondered when I'm going to start feeling the age I am, or at least feel like I'm at the right point in my life to just slow down and take each day as it comes, waiting for life to take it's course, stopping to just appreciate where I am and who I am. Don't get me wrong; I am completely happy with who I am and my family and friends.
I'm just sick of waiting around. I'm sick of waiting for 'the one' and for my life to finally take shape as a teacher.
But that's life. And there's nothing that can be done about it, except wait.
"I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when."
Until next time.
Fifs xo
P.S. This blog post took an unexpected turn. I listened to this song and just felt such a connection to it that I had to write something. But I honestly didn't know where it was heading. I just wrote what I felt. Sorry for the rambles and deep and meaningful stuff throughout the post. That's just me.
*UPDATE* After reading this through a few times and reading a comment, I realised that some people might take this post a bit too literal. Mainly the part where I say I've given up on waiting for 'the one.' I know I'm only 21, and I'm not saying that I've given up on love. It's just annoying having to wait. I want to be at that point in my life right now. And I do realise I have to wait, but that's what this post is kind of about. It's about me not wanting to wait around for life to come at me. I hope that makes more sense.
*UPDATE* After reading this through a few times and reading a comment, I realised that some people might take this post a bit too literal. Mainly the part where I say I've given up on waiting for 'the one.' I know I'm only 21, and I'm not saying that I've given up on love. It's just annoying having to wait. I want to be at that point in my life right now. And I do realise I have to wait, but that's what this post is kind of about. It's about me not wanting to wait around for life to come at me. I hope that makes more sense.
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