If my summer was a musical.....

Hello everyone!

Welcome back to my blog. I haven't been around in a while, but I'm back now and I plan to be back for a long time! Summer is over, I'm starting a new section of my life and this blog and my YouTube channel are going to take full priority from now on!! 

If you have been reading my blog since the beginning, you will know that I haven't had the best time this summer. Sure, there are some moments that I will always remember for the good times and all that, but there was always this little bit of darkness in my life that made me different - I wasn't myself, I wasn't happy, I wasn't talking to anyone about my problems. But now, I can look back on this summer and realise that the things that happened have actually changed me for the better! 

Instead of telling you what I learned this summer (I'll save that for a video), I decided to tell you about how I felt this summer through song. Music is my escape, and the lyrics always speak to me. So, here are the 10 songs that sum up my summer.........

Pretending - Glee
My summer started off pretty bad.. My (then) boyfriend and I were going through a rough patch. Sometimes I thought we would get over it.. other times, I wanted us to just be real with each other and see where that got us. This song - although it ends with a happy ending in the show - just brings up all the feelings I had at that time.

There's a Fine, Fine Line - Avenue Q

Unfortunately, being real with each other led to heart break.. As you know, I'm a sucker for all things musical theatre and when I first heard this song, I realised just how much it relates to my life! Sometimes it takes a while to realise that some things are not meant to be... but it also means that you may have wasted a good bit of time waiting for it to be right.


Jealous - Labrinth

I tried to move on, especially after hearing that he was still good friends with the girl who was the centre of all our arguments (but that's a story for another day!). I would see photos of him on Facebook with all of his college friends that he met up with during the summer, and he just looked so happy and it made me feel horrible. Here I was, sitting at home feeling sorry for myself while he was out with friends... It took time, but eventually I was able to be happy. But only after I realised how happy he was.


Say Something - Boyce Avenue

The month went on and I was beginning to give up on him - even just as friends. We had tried to stay as friendly as possible for the sake of our group of friends, but sometimes it was just too hard and old feelings kept creeping back up. I constantly waited for him to say something to me to see if he still felt the same. But unfortunately, it never happened and I gave up.


I realise that this blog post has been about the breakup, but trust me, this was the main thing that really messed up my summer for me.. it does get better though! 

Amnesia - 5 Seconds of Summer

After deciding that it was time to move on, I realised that it wasn't going to be easy. I constantly wished that I could forget every memory I shared with him - good and bad. Little things that happened in my every day life would remind me of him (even a bar of white chocolate would bring back memories to me!). It was things like this that made me wish there was some sort of weird magic (think 'obliviate' in Harry Potter...) to get rid of the time I had spent with him.


Quiet - Matilda

Things did not get any better. I still cried myself to sleep over losing the most important person to me, I hid my feelings from my parents and friends, and I ended up failing two college exams. Stress hit me big time, and my anxiety started to creep up on me again. I couldn't stay out with my friends in the nightclub without having an anxiety attack. I felt that my life was ruined. However, I used to find a place where I could just relish in the quiet and not care about anything that was going on around me. I could just think and let my mind wander for a few minutes before stepping back into the truth of reality.


Friday Night - The Shires

Friday nights were a big thing this summer! Every Friday night, you could find me in the local pub with all of my girl friends just having a few drinks and a lot of laughs! It was a tradition that kept me going every day during the week, and I hope it continues when we all go back to college and work, because I really need these girls in my life. <3 


Happy Little Pill - Troye Sivan

The stage has always been something that makes me smile - whether I'm on it or not. It's my happy place. And this summer, I was lucky enough to be on the stage in one of my favourite musicals. For the whole week of the show, the weeks leading up to it, and the week after, I was happier than I had been all summer. I was surrounded by people who shared the same passion as me and I made some amazing friends with new memories that I will cherish forever!! 


Second Star to the Right - Canary Swing

Having spent the first two months of my summer with problems and stress that made me feel much older than I am, the last month of summer was dedicated to just being carefree and feeling young again! I'm only 20, so it was about time I started being 20 (if that makes any sense!!). I spent time with friends, went out at the weekends, met up for lunch, went shopping in Galway city, went to the cinema... And it honestly made me feel so happy that I am going to continue being like this (although, perhaps I'll be a bit more mature about everything...)


Which brings me on to the final song in this playlist of sorts...

Look Outside - Nat and Alex Wolff 

Everything will always get better. It may not seem like it at the time, but every bad problem in life will eventually look so small when you think back to it. Looking back at how my summer began, I realise how small of a problem it was. Sure, I broke up with my boyfriend, but as it turns out, I've now gained a best friend out of it who knows everything about me and will always be there for me. 
So, turn your problems into memories and learn from them. Because life will work out and everything that's meant to be will be.


And that brings us to the end of another blog post. I promise to be around more often. 
So...
Until next time.
Fifs xo

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3 comments:

  1. Wow you have been through so much and come so far I'm at so proud of you! What happened between that this for ruined you and your man? It must have been rough....

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    Replies
    1. Thank you <3 I would like to say what happened, and I probably will eventually, but it's not the right time.. Sorry.. But thank you all the same <3 xo

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  2. Sorry for the late response, I understand it takes time. I hope 2016 brings you happiness and health and I hope you can find someone new who will bring you happiness again,you deserve it.

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